Mature Truths:Damn True

MATURE TRUTHS:
1. I think part of a best friend's
job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that
moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those
times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.
4. There is great need for a
sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed
to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really
necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start
their directions on # 5. I'm pretty
sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more
interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I
wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good
stories.
11. You never know when it will
strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you know that you
just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore
whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my
collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified
when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to
my ten-page technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes
to.
14. "Do not machine wash or
tumble dry" means I will never
wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by
the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn
it!), but when I immediately call
back,It rings nine times and goes
to voice mail. What did you do
after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house
confident and looking good and
then not seeing anyone of
importance the entire day. What a
waste.
17. I keep some people's phone
numbers in my phone just so I
know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a
light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I
would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin
with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an
"Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie
that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea
What the heck was going on when I
first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10
over-loaded plastic bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my
groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to
a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering
the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
25. How many times is it
appropriate to say "What?" before
you just nod and smile because you
still didn't hear or understand a
word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie
when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at
the front. Stay strong, brothers
and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets
dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school
kids get dumber & dumber every
year?
29. There's no worse feeling than
that millisecond you're sure you
are going to die after leaning
Your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians,
and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of
transportation, I always hate
bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my
watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions
people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their
cell phone,And Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey - but I'd bet anything
everyone can find and push the
snooze button from 3 feet away, in
about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed,
first time, every time !